everything. forget everything i've ever said on here.

Life as i used to know it is over. I've changed. so much. so much more than expected.


Update : me and travis are no more. i'm currently seeing someone in the military, he's great, but it hasn't been that long, so I don't want to talk about it a lot just yet.

I work at whole foods, in san antonio, tx now. Moved there in September, of 08. I plan on going to culinary school after a bit of catching up since I've been out of school for almost 4 years now.

I miss my life back in Colorado more than anything. the people I stay with are a little strange, but what are you going to do.

        Boys and girls, I've got quite the story for you. A story about two kids, fate pulled them together, when everything else imaginable was trying so very hard to pull them apart. A boy, named, Travis, lives in Texas, with a girl named, Patty. They dated for a while, but alas, it didn't work out. They lived out their lives, meeting other people, which was very fortunate for a girl, all the way up in Colorado, named Cassandra. This girl has had so many problems with boys that around February of 2007, she has sworn off boys for ever, it seemed. This boy Travis, fell into Cassandras life, by horrible circumstances, she was best friends with Patty, and Patty wanted her to get back at Travis for all the pain he put her through. Now, Cass, tried very hard. Very hard, not to give into this boy's charm. She's heard plenty of stories about this one. They become friends, which Patty and Cassandra's relationship starts to dwindle. But, for some reason, Cass, well she didn't care all too much, not even she knew why. All she knew is that she really enjoyed talking to this mysterious boy. She promised herself and made it very clear that she wouldn't fall for this boy, nor let him in. Not at all, he would never be allowed into her heart. If only she knew... Later on, they get to talking about feelings, and how they feel about movies, music, everything. She had so many problems with her mother, with things that she has done bad in the past that she was taking care of then. He was always there, she would call him, crying her eyes out, and he was always there for her, always. She had come to love this boy. Never meant to, but he was all she thought about. He had failed to mention that he was leaving for Mexico for a week, and when he did, it was the day before he left. She was distraught! How could he "leave" her now?! That night she expressed her feelings for him, in a very... interesting way. She let her heart speak, and this is what came out: "If you could say anything to me before I left, what would it be?" "I love you." It turns out he felt the same way. Patty wanted nothing to do with Cass. Cass got over it.
    Now, Travis was all Cass thought about, and after he got back she was ecstatic! They talked everyday, webcamed everyday, loved eachother. But, from a distance. Cass got her tax money back and checked on plane tickets for after Travis's graduation, and it turns out they were only $150! She wanted to buy one right away, but had to wait for Travis to talk to his parents about letting her stay. It worked out, they said yes after thining about it for.. ever it seemed. She bought the ticket, and they had started their countdown. 43 days. They were so excited and it went by so very fast. It was confirmed. She was in love with him. She had vacation time, everything was set at work. 21 days. She couldn't concentrate. Wrote him letters on receipt paper at work. 18 days. They had problems with boys over in Colorado, that just wouldn't go away and with girls in Texas that wouldn't go away either, but they worked through it. They worked through every problem that even got close to touching them. Nothing could phase them. 11 days. They had a big fight. Huge fight. This person in Colorado just wouldn't go away, and she wasn't doing enough to make it stop. Ended it. 7 days. Things were getting worse and worse! She couldn't concentrate, he couldn't either. He was busy with graduation parties, and family staying, and graduation, and she was jealous. It was going by so slow for her. 1 day. She had work that day, kept busy. Got new underwear, and energy drinks. Stayed up all night. Cleaned, packed everything, showered, made sure her hair was perfect, and her family drove her to the airport at 4. She got there early and nothing was open, so she ended up talking to Travis all the way through the security gate and everything. Okay, I don't want to get into detail, but when she saw him in the DFW airport, she got scared, and nervous, and her knees were shaking, and he was perfect, and they went through days doing nothing, sleeping, eating, watching movies, taking walks, taking pictures, smiling, being around eachother, spending endless hours kissing, spending endless hours in eachothers arms watching endless movies. They would get lost going to Dallas, and Ft Worth, and she was always there to help get them on the right track. She sweat a lot, but that humidness was just so foreign to her. He tried to touch her and she would just freak out and run. Patty didn't even want to see her. She still didn't care. Travis's dog didn't like her. Didn't care. He got over it, and now he's the cutest little dog ever. They did a lot of "firsts" for both of them, and thinking back, she still gets chills. He told her before the trip that she would finally be able to feel his love, and god, he was right. She felt it from the very first time he laid eyes on hers, first time he put his arms all the way around her body, first time she kissed those lips, first time she felt his skin against her skin. She felt his love, everything they did, she felt it. They never got tired of eachother. That was a first for both of them. That last day of the vacation, sucked. They both cried, talked about things changing, which they wouldn't. They aren't. They aren't going to give up, and they will put in the effort. Saying goodbye at the airport was hard, she couldn't have him wait and watch her leave. So, they kissed, hugged, and parted ways. She couldn't cry. Not in public. She saw him again up against the glass, and she just wanted to break down and NOT go! Fuck going home, honestly. She cried the whole flight home, looking at pictures and watching the videos that they made. In one interview he said "we've been in love for three months, and meeting is just incredible." He has it right. It was incredible. It still is incredible.
    Looking back, I wouldn't change anything. I'm in love with him, and he is in love with me. He is my world, my home, my safety. We will be forever. How do i know this? Because, I still feel his love, and I know that it will never, ever go away. He is the most amazing person I've ever met in my life, and I would never give that up. I will fight until the end of the world for this boy. I love you, Travis Walker. You're my everything.

Does anyone know any songs/quotes about having someone as your home and it feels different without them... a house isn't a home without you in it, type of deal?


"If everything we've got is slipping away
I meant what I said when I said until my dying day
I'm holding on to you, holding on to me
Myabe it's all gone black but you're all I see."

Thank you :D

anything about parents not trusting you, and wishing they did. because its breaking you in pieces??



it's been a long year, since we last spoke, hows your halo?
just between you and i, you and me and the sattelites,
never believed you...
i only wanted to...


but for all this.
what did i miss?
do you ever get homesick?
I can't used to this...
I'll never get used to this.

for blue skies, i forgive you.

anonymous
tell me what you think about me.
tell me something you always wanted to say but didnt.
or tell me a secret. tell me anything at all.
just dont tell me who you are.

Love can be found on myspace.

NEWLAYOUT finally, not the Christmas one anymore, haha.

Does anyone know what the lyrics are from, like on the title, comment & navigation bar?

I'll give you like a candy bar or something. haha,

<333

I'd rather choke to death on wine that's been poisoned by an unfaithul wife than die all alone and old at 55 or 60 with no one there to miss me.